Wednesday, May 16, 2012

25 May 2000

Things got pretty bad on the weekend and earlier this week.  I had been angry ever since I got to Tacloban, and it got worse.  I was pissed off at everyone, especially Marciano.  The Spirit left me, and the desire to work left with it.  After district meeting, I was especially angry, so I went to bed.  I didn't sleep, I just laid there for a few hours.  Around 5:00, Elder Marciano told me that Elder Fautimau was on the phone.  I mentioned my problem to him, and he set up an interview with President Dela Vega right away.  So Marciano and I went to the mission home.  He spoke with me one-on-one, discussing my problems.  He shared scriptures with me about the patience, endurance (I had requested a transfer), and the evils of anger.  In a loving way, he made me feel like scum.  Last week, I wrote a white report, and in my letter I included what I called "Elder MacKenzie's List of Hate."  It was a list of things that bothered me.  He said that when he read it, he pictured the devil trying hard to destroy me.  That did me in.  I couldn't look him in the eyes any more.  I was overcome with guilt and remorse.  I covered my face with my hand and broke down to tears.  President sat silently while I cried, waiting for me to get control of myself.  Once I got my composure back, I said, "I needed that."  It was true.  I needed him to help realize what I was doing.  I needed to cry.  It changed me.  I've been renewed.  I'm not quick to anger anymore.  Marciano and I are getting along.  I love it.

My package that I thought had been stolen in the mail finally got here yesterday.  It had five greatly needed white shirts, some toiletries, and a lot of chocolate.  It took three months to get here.  I wonder what the problem was.

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