21 October 1998 - 2 January 1999

Since the purpose of the blog is to give a picture of life in the Philippines, I'm not going to include my journal entries from the MTC.  I will sum it up, though.  I arrived on the 21st of October and was assigned to District D of Branch 59.  My companion was Elder Swingler from LA.  Our district was made up of six elders, and we all slept in the same room.  Besides Swingler and myself, there was Elder Kopp (district leader, and later assistant to the branch president), Elder Coon, Elder Smith, and Elder Spitzenberg (he took over as district leader after Elder Kopp became AP).  Our days consisted of three classes a day, each class lasting three hours.  Our teachers were Sister Taylor, Sister Wright, and Brother Davidson.  In these classes, we learned Tagalog and how to be a missionary.  Our branch president was President Chapman.  There were no classes on Sunday.  We had church in the morning, rest in the afternoon, and a fireside in the evening.

MacKenzie, Smith, Coon, Swingler, Spitzenberg, Kopp

Elder Swingler is a great guy, but we didn't get along very well while we were companions.  Most of it was my fault.  I had always been a quiet guy who valued his privacy, and I was suddenly sharing a room with five other guys, and spending every moment with a talkative 19-year-old boy.  Things got pretty bad between us, but after some time apart in the field, we forgave each other, and he was one of my favourite people in the mission.

Despite his German name, Elder Spitzenberg was Samoan.  He had his mother send us all a lava-lava

We were supposed to leave the MTC and head to the Philippines around December 21, but there was a delay because of an airline strike in the Philippines.  We spent four major holidays in the MTC: Halloween (for costumes, we all switched name tags), American Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years Eve.  Elders Smith, Coon, and Spitzenberg left on the 1st of January (they were going to the Philippines Bagio Mission).  Swingler, Kopp, and I left on the 2nd of January.

The Provo Temple was across the street from the MTC.  We went there once a week.

5 January 1999

I'm in Manila!  It sure is hot here.  And humid!  I was told that the humidity was bad, but nothing can prepare a person for that first step out of the airport.  But I'm glad I'm here.  I'm excited.  I'm at the Missionary Reception Center right now (I got here yesterday), and we leave tomorrow.  Traveling here was a new and interesting experience.  There were five of us traveling together: Elder Swingler, Elder Kopp, me, Elder Bush, and Elder Danielson.  We left the MTC at 4:00 pm and went to the Salt Lake City airport.  Elder Kopp's family met us there.  While they visited, I phoned home.  I talked to everyone but Jenny and Rob.  It was nice to hear their voices again.  They're doing well.  We left Salt Lake at 7:00 and flew to Los Angeles, where Elder Swingler's family met him.  I don't like LAX.  I didn't like it the first time I was there, and I liked it even less this time.  We had to walk a long way with all our luggage to get to the EVA Airway terminal.  And when we got there, we found out that the Church had given us weekday tickets.  Since it was Saturday, we each to to pay $21 extra.  The flight from LA to Taipei, Taiwan was 14 hours, but it was pretty cool.  It was a huge plane.  It was a Boeing 747-400.  And we flew Deluxe Class.  Very comfortable, and the food was okay.  Each seat had its own radio and TV.

Hanging out in Taiwan

I just found out that I have to wake up at 2:30 in the morning.  I'll finish this later.

6 January 1999

Now I'm in Tacloban City!  We landed in Taipei, Taiwan at 6:00 am their time, only instead of being Sunday the third, which it was in North America, it was Monday the fourth.  It was really messed up.  At 9:30 am, we left Taipei and arrived in Manila at 11:40 am.  Elder Makanoa (the man in charge of the MRC (Missionary Reception Center), along with his wife) picked us up at the airport.  We exchanged our money at a place in some sort of mall.  It was crowded.  Yesterday, we got Philippines drivers licenses.  Afterwards, we wanted to do a session at the Manila Temple, but we discovered that it was closed for repairs.  So we just walked around the grounds for a few minutes.  This morning, we left Manila at 5:30 and arrived here in Tacloban.  President and Sister Dimaya are cool.  Elder Kopp is chasing a tiny little lizard right now in our room for the night.  We're at the mission home.  We'll be meeting our trainers in about an hour.  I love it here.  We went to the General MacArthur monument earlier today.  We bought a fresh coconut while we were there.  It was okay, but I was expecting more.  Tomorrow, I'll be in my first area!

President Dimaya, Elder MacKenzie, Sister Dimaya

Wynder, Swingler, Roberts, MacKenzie, Kopp, Knighton, Dimaya

(For a more detailed description of this first day, go here.)

8 January 1999

My new companion is Elder Michael Roberts from Ohio.  He's only been in the field for three months, and he's already training, so he must be good.  He's good so far.  Our area is Albuera.  It's a Cebuano-speaking area.  Therefore, I am very lost.  We taught the first discussion this afternoon (after my first zone conference).  I read a paragraph whenever it was my turn, but Elder Roberts did everything else.  But I love it here!  On the ride to Ormoc for zone conference, I rode outside on the back of the multicab.  It was cool.  The people are cool, too.  I'm pretty sure this'll be a great mission, especially when I learn how to speak Cebuano.

Elder MacKenzie and Elder Roberts

9 January 1999

It was a busy day.  I'm very worn out.  We went to a lot of appointments, taught another first discussion, and I met some of the members.  They were cool.  People here seem very happy.  I can't wait until I can communicate better with them.  The children are especially cool.  And they are unbelievably cute.  It makes me want to marry a Filipina after my mission just so I can have children like the ones here.

We had an appointment this afternoon way out in the bukid (wilderness).  We  took a  15- or 20-minute hike into the wilderness, and when we finally reached our destination, the person we were supposed to meet wasn't there.  Oh, well.  I needed the exercise.

I had an interesting dream last night.  It was really blurry, but this is what I remember:  I was with Elder Kopp and Elder Swingler.  We were walking between some old buildings in Manila.  We sneaked into one of the buildings, and it was the Provo MTC assembly hall.  There were a lot of missionaries coming in and sitting down, because a devotional was going to start soon.  We walked through the crowd in a bit of a hurry.  Then I walked past Sara.  I hurried back to her and asked her what she was doing there.  She told me that she was going on a mission to Washington, and she said it as if I already knew.  I thought for a moment, and then said, "Wait, I think I did know that."  And then I woke up.

20 January 1999

Well, well, well, well, well.  Before I say what I'm going to complain about, let me make a few things clear first: I love it here in the Philippines.  The people of Albuera are great.  My companion and I get along, and we're growing closer together (the chess set I bought seems to help).  I'm starting to progress visibly in my Cebuano, and I'm getting mail now.  But there are two things bothering me.  First, last Thursday I woke up covered in mosquito bites.  That was annoying, but simple to deal with.  I put up with the itching and bought some mosquito repellent.

Second: on Monday, I noticed that my big toe was starting to hurt right where the side of the nail meets the flesh.  I thought it was from when I stubbed it the previous night.  It started to hurt worse, and now it looks disgusting.  We didn't get any work done until after I got some painkillers in Ormoc.  We visited a member tonight.  He's a medic, so we showed him my toe right before we left.  He said it's an ingrown toenail!  Crap!  I don't want an ingrown toenail in the Philippines!  There was an elder at the MRC (Missionary Reception Center in Manila) at the same time I was with an ingrown toenail.  When they removed it, they took a chunk of his toe with it!  All afternoon and all night, he would bleed all over the place (soaking right through the bandages) unless he had it elevated.  For one thing, I don't want that to happen to my toe.  For another thing, that'll put me out of commission for a week or two.  I have people to teach!  I have a language to learn!  Cripes!

On the lighter side of things, Albuera is getting two more elders tomorrow: Elder Kenney (just released as an AP) and Elder Pfister.  Elder Kenney is really cool.  I've never met Elder Pfister.  The best thing about this is the splitting of the area.  We'll be able to follow up on everybody better.

21 January 1999

Uncle Bert is probably dead now.  I got a letter from home today that was written on January 6.  Mum said that he would most likely die in the next few days.  At the time she wrote the letter, he was slipping into a coma, and his kidneys and bowels had shut down.  That sucks.  I'll miss him.  I hope his family is okay.  I hope Grandma can deal with it.

28 January 1999

I'm enjoying having the new elders here.  Last Friday and Saturday, we went on splits.  Elder Roberts showed Elder Kenny around their half of the area, while Elder Pfister and I did some work in my half of the area.  Elder Pfister is pretty cool.  I like his sense of humour.  He's from Salt Lake City.  Elder Kenney is from Anaheim, but his grandmother is from Raymond.  Pretty cool, eh?  (I went to high school in Raymond.)

I haven't been to a doctor yet about my toenail.  It's getting pretty bad.  I'm out of painkillers, too.  I'll go on Monday after the Super Bowl (7:00 am).  I don't want to watch it, but my companion really does, so I'm going anyway.

1 February 1999

Elder Roberts and I called Sister Dimaya on Saturday morning about my toe.  She told us to go to a doctor, and if he wanted to remove the entire nail, we should say no and go to Tacloban and let her do it.  The doctor said the whole nail should come off, so we went to Tacloban.  Sister Dimaya took a look at it and said, "It's bad, but the whole thing doesn't need to be removed."  She had me soak it for a minute or two in salt water.  While I was doing that, she left the room.  She returned shortly with a meat cleaver in her hand and said, "Okay, are you ready?"  She's so cool.  After putting the meat cleaver away, she took my foot out of the water and put some ointment on my toe to numb it.  I couldn't bring myself to watch what she did next, but I know what happened.  She cut the nail on the worst side.  It didn't feel good (kind of like scratching a chalk board), but it wasn't that bad.  Then she started to pull it out.  I gasped and my whole body tensed.  "Just think about Joseph Smith's experience," President Dimaya said as he and Elder Roberts watched.  He was referring to the time Joseph Smith had an operation on his leg as a child with no drugs.  Sister Dimaya pulled the rest of the section of the nail out.  "Ow, crap!" I said, tensing even more, and then I laughed.  I don't know why.  I was sweating more than I ever have in my life.  The reason it hurt was because there was a sharp point on it, which was also the reason that my toe had been hurting so much and got infected.  After checking to make sure that side was okay, she cut the other side of the nail.  I felt her pull it out, and when she did, Elder Roberts and President both winced and said, "Oooo!"  "Did that hurt?" Elder Roberts asked.  "I felt something, but it didn't hurt," I said.  The piece she had removed was really deep, but it wasn't jagged, so it didn't hurt.  Sister Dimaya bandaged my toe, gave me some amoxicillan, fed us, and sent us on our way.  I have to wear sandals when I go proselyting for the next two weeks.

4 February 1999

Yesterday was a day that I won't soon forget.  We went on splits again, but this time I was with Elder Kenney. The morning was fine.  We did some less active work and some contacting, and then we came in for lunch.  Our second appointment after lunch was with the Orina family, who are less active.  Brother Orina has a Word of Wisdom problem.  (The Word of Wisdom is what prohibits Mormons from smoking and drinking alcohol, coffee, and tea.)  He was drunk when we arrived and feeling sick, but his wife told us to come in anyway.  The first wrong thing that we noticed was a poster of a practically nude woman on the wall.  We tried our best to ignore it and talked to Brother Orina and his wife.  Everything was going fine at first.  Then, when Sister was saying something to us, Brother came over, got on his hands and knees, and bowed his head between Elder Kenney and I.  It almost looked like he was worshipping us.  Elder Kenney didn't notice, because he was looking the other way at Sister, and I had no clue what he was doing, so I just sat there.  Brother finally sat up and looked at me.  He mumbled something that I couldn't hear (he usually speaks English), so I leaned in a little and said, "Pardon me?"  He gave me the ugliest look of contempt I've ever seen and started yelling at us: "I'm the head of the house, not her!  I want you to leave!  I bow down and ask for a blessing, and you listen to her!  You should leave, and I don't care for you to return!  Do I make myself clear?"

Elder Kenney calmly and seriously explained to Brother that we couldn't give him a blessing because he was drunk.  This calmed him down, and he started talking about his Word of Wisdom problems.  About 15 minutes later, when Elder Kenney and Sister were talking, Brother turned to me and asked if I was a local missionary.  I told him no.  Elder Kenney was listening now.  Brother continued: "So far, in your experience in the Philippines, have you, in a group or with an individual, attempted any sexual activities?"  I was so shocked by the question that I just sat there staring.  Brother turned to Elder Kenney and said, "That's a good question, no?  And he doesn't answer."  Elder Kenney and Brother said some things in Cebuano that I didn't understand.  Then Brother switched back to English.  He offered us to go into his room and have "sexual experiences" with his wife "free of charge."  Elder Kenney kept saying "Ayaw," which means "don't," but Brother wouldn't stop talking like that.  So we got up and started leaving.  On our way to the door, Brother came up to us and said, as he whipped out his penis, "Here in the Philippines, we have certain manipulations..."  We didn't hear the rest of the sentence, because that was when we said good-bye and left.

And after that, I fell in a rice paddy.

19 February 1999

I got two letters yesterday, one from Mum and Dad, and one from Jenny.  Uncle Bert died on the first of February.  Kidney failure.  The letters provided a lot of details about his death and funeral, so I'll just insert them in here instead of writing it all over again (the letters are taped in my journal.  I'm not going to transcribe them here).  This entry will just be my thoughts and feelings.  I read Jenny's letter first.  It hit me pretty hard when I read the first two lines, even though I already suspected he had passed away.  I guess I was still clinging to some hope.  I'm worried about Aunt Cath, but she's a strong woman; she'll be okay in time.  I'm more worried about Grandma.  It is a terrible thing to outlive your child, no matter how old the child may be.  I hope this doesn't affect her health.  I want to see her again in this life.  I'm worried about Jake, too.  This is the second loved-one who has died while he has been on his mission.  (The first was our friend, Cam Calder, who died in a motorcycle accident two months before I started my mission.)

23 February 1999

Yesterday was a very good day for me.  We had a zone activity at Lake Danao, up in the mountains.  The whole zone piled into and onto a jeepney for the ride up.  I cubited (rode on the rack on the back) and talked with Elder Reynolds (just recently transferred into the zone) on the way.  We had a pretty good talk.  He's a cool guy.  I found out that Griff (Price.  A friend from when I lived in Prince George who served in PTM before I did) was his trainer.  Lake Danao was beautiful.  We took a lot of pictures.  Since we couldn't swim, we played chess and yahtzee for an hour and a half.  Then we went back to Ormoc.  I top-loaded (rode on the roof rack) this time, and had a good talk with Elder Crabtree, one of the zone leaders.  He's a Filipino, but he's very tall.  He's cool, too.  A certain section of the road was pretty rough, and Elder Nanol was shaken off of the back and landed in a big puddle.  We were going slow, so he wasn't hurt.  We all had a good laugh at that.  It was a great P-Day.  I feel closer to the other missionaries in the zone, and I've developed a love for this country.

Elder MacKenzie and Elder Roberts at Lake Danao

26 February 1999

Today was a pretty good day.  It was zone conference for four zones, including Ormoc.  Much to my surprise, Elder Kopp was there.  He was recently transferred from his Waray-Waray speaking area to the Cebuano-speaking San Isidro area, which was Elder Pfister's last area.  It was great seeing him again.  I talked with him quite a bit.

Sister Dimaya brings a scale to each zone conference.  I've lost ten pounds since I've been here!  Elder Roberts gained ten pounds since last zone conference.

2 March 1999

I just killed a rat.  Big sucker, too.  It was a companionship effort, but I got the death blow with my rubber boot while Elder Roberts kept its tail caught in Elder Kenney's luggage.  Then we took it outside, poured alcohol on it, and lit it on fire.  The carcass is gone now.  I figure our landlady's dog took it.  That kind of sucks, because I wanted to show it to Elder Kenney and Elder Pfister.  At least I got some pictures of it.

The chase is on

Burning the evidence

12 March 1999

Elder Pfister was transferred on Tuesday.  He's assigned in Ormoc now.  Elder Kenney's new companion is fresh from the MTC.  His name is Elder Anderson.  Elder Kenney is excited, because this is his first time training.  After we were done proselyting on Wednesday night, we ate a "greenie" (missionary slang for new missionary) snack: green coconuts, green bananas, green ice cream (buco (young coconut) avocado), and balut (fetal duck egg).  I actually ate it this time.  It tasted okay, but the actual duck fetus was really mushy, so I didn't really enjoy it.

Elder Anderson and Elder Kenney eating coconut

Elder MacKenzie eating balut

There were a lot of baptismal interviews that needed to be done in Ormoc Zone yesterday.  To make it possible to be done, all of the district leaders and their companions (Elder Roberts is a district leader) met at the zone leaders' apartment for lunch (really good pizza), and then we all split off.  Elder Roberts went to Canangga with Elder Jensen and Elder Bradbury.  I came back to Albuera with Elder Pfister and his new companion, Elder McIver (Elder Roberts' companion in the MTC).  We're going back to Ormoc this morning to get back into our companionships.

16 March 1999

I'm in the mission office at Tacloban right now waiting for Elder Vaudrie to set up a doctor's appointment.  My toenail is ingrown again, and really infected this time.  Sister Dimaya took a look at it this morning and decided she couldn't do it herself.  At best, half the nail will have to come out.  But, probably, the whole thing will be removed.  Fun, fun, fun.  I'm on really strong antibiotics.  Hopefully, after all this I'll be able to go the rest of my mission with no more physical problems.  (Yeah, good luck with that, Past Me.)

LATER

I'm back in Albuera now.  The surgery is over with.  Only half of the nail came out.  The doctor gave me a local anaesthetic, which required two painful needles in my toe.  But that pain was nothing compared to what was to follow.  Because of the great infection, the part of my toe that needed to be operated on was barely affected by the anaesthetic.  The operation wasn't the worst pain I've ever felt.  That particular prize goes to my broken jaw  back in '86.  But this was the most intense pain I've ever felt.  I hope it never happens again.

19 March 1999

I was the senior companion today with a greenie (new missionary) who learned Tagalog in the MTC.  We went on splits, and I was with Elder Anderson.  It was cool.  I did everything.  I know Cebuano better than I thought.  Elder Anderson is cool.  Once he learns the language, he'll be a great missionary.

(I can't believe I didn't write about the following story at the time, so I'll tell it now.  We were visiting with a family, and Elder Anderson and I were telling the kids about life in North America.  Anderson mentioned how many phones were in his house, and the kids thought that they must be pretty noisy.  Anderson laughed and demonstrated what they thought it was like by making a phone-ringing sound and pantomiming picking up several phones at once.  The sound he made was "brrring!"  Everyone started laughing uproariously.  Brrring sounded a lot like the Cebuano word "buring" (they roll their Rs when they speak), which means "whore."  I explained this to Anderson, and we had a good laugh.)

17 March 1999

(This entry was written by Elder Kenney)

Elder Kenney in front of the Albuera chapel.  (My camera tended to focus on everything except for the subject of the photo.)

Let it hereby be known by all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people that I, Elder Brent Allen Kenney, have been bestowed with the immense privilege and responsibility to write a few words unto the posterity of Elder Michael Bruce MacKenzie.  For nigh unto two months, I've been observing the general behavior and sundry idiosyncrasies of the aforementioned Elder MacKenzie, of which I shall now make a brief account.  With his rosy cheeks and healthy constitution, my first encounter with our subject was fraught with nostalgia as I remembered one of my favorite childhood Christmas poems.  After having my daydream shattered by realizing he wasn't Jolly Ol' St. Nick, I rebounded gracefully, and in little time I began to know the fabled Elder MacKenzie.

I find Elder MacKenzie to be a very genuine and considerate fellow.  With his dutilike Canadian pride and subtle comments, he has a unique way of sparking smiles on his cronies' faces.  Elder MacKenzie is a very even-tempered man who is slow to anger but quick to give courteous chuckles to my attempts, which I liberally call comedy.  Nevertheless, and notwithstanding, I see great opportunities for humble, Christ-like service as Elder MacKenzie progresses on his mission.  His objective is pure, his motives just, and he carries on without complaint or cutting remarks.  Dedicated, devoted, and determined, he forges ahead to bring his brothers and sisters to a better tomorrow.  This is Elder MacKenzie--the man we love.

22 March 1999

I turned 21 on Saturday.  That was pretty cool.  I told the Sanico family, they told Sister Rom and Sister Embalude, and the word spread like wildfire from there.  I showed up at the church for missionary correlation meeting (MCM), and everybody started singing happy birthday.  We joined a family home evening later that night, and everyone there sang happy birthday again.  When we were back at the apartment, I stuck 21 candles into a pot of rice and blew them out.  Then we ate chocolate and ube ice cream.  The Sanico family gave us crabs.

Not sure why the camera's date stamp says March 21.  Did I celebrate a day late?  Could have happened.

21 felt so old at the time, but holy cow, I was so young!  That's Elder Kenney on the left.  The purple ice cream is ube.

29 March 1999

Elder Roberts and I will be parting company this Wednesday.  He's transferred to Merida.  My new companion will be Elder Jones.  He learned Cebuano in the MTC, and his first few areas were Cebuano-speaking, but he's spent the last eight months in Samar speaking Waray-Waray.  It'll be interesting to hear his Cebuano skills now.

3 April 1999

It was zone conference yesterday.  I saw Elder Kopp again.  He's doing good.  His companion had an ingrown toenail (just a mild one), and I got to watch Sister Dimaya work on it.  It's the first time I've watched it done.

I got a package from home on Thursday.  Mum sent it to me on December 11, and it didn't arrive until this week.  She sent it by surface instead of air.  So I got a bunch of Christmas presents on the first of April.

Elder Roberts is still my companion.  Transfers were delayed until Monday, because the new batch of missionaries were delayed at Manila.

15 April 1999

Dugay na ako nagsulat dinhi.  (It's been a long time since I wrote here.)  Elder Jones has been my companion for over a week now.  He's a cool guy.  He speaks Cebuano better than I was expecting.  He's been having blood in his stole since October, so he might be going to Manila for a while.  If he doesn't go there, he'll go to Cebu.  (Manila and Cebu have the best medical facilities in the Philippines.)

Elder Seth Jones (there will be more Jones in the future) and Elder MacKenzie.  As far as I know, this is the only picture of the two of us together in existence.

Our branch had a big "Cultural Night and Missionary Fireside" last night.  Now that it's over, I call it the "Great Albuera Branch Fiasco."  I sang "Take Me Home Country Roads."  I was supposed to sing "The Gambler" too, but I refused because the sound system was so terrible.  They didn't even test it before we started.  It was a very stressful time for me, for more reasons than just the sound system.  But I won't go into it.

16 April 1999

Something amusing happened this evening.  We were visiting Ricarda, one of our investigators.  Her seven-year-old daughter was there, and so were two less-active teenage sisters.  Elder Jones and I were sitting on a bamboo bench, and the older of the sisters in a bamboo chair.  After we had been there for half an hour, the younger sister sat in the chair with her.  SNAP!  The chair broke, and we all had a good laugh.  Half an hour later, Elder Jones turned to me and said, "Should we close with prayer?"

"Sure," I answered.

"Will you say it?"

"Sure."

"Maricelle, ampo na 'ta."  (Maricelle, we're praying now.)

crack-crack-SNAP!  All of a sudden, Elder Jones and I have our butts on the floor.  It was really funny, but I feel bad now, because that was the second piece of her furniture that has collapsed under my remarkable girth.

Elder Anderson just gave a banana a big kiss.  (It was messy.)

19 April 1999

Elder Jones is in Cebu right now for medical reasons.  He's bring me back a Big Mac and a Quarter Pounder with Cheese.  He went with Elder Pfister's companion, so the two of us are companions for the next couple of days.  We're in Ormoc.

I rode in from Albuera this morning standing on the back of a multicab with Elder Pfister and Elder Anderson.  Elder Kenney sat in the front seat.  Elder Pfister turned his head and spit.  The wind did something strange, and somehow Elder Anderson ended up with a big wad of spit on his leg.  It was hilarious.  Elder Anderson is a great sport not to get totally ticked off.

21 April 1999

Do you know what today is?  It's exactly six months since I entered the MTC.  Whoa.  That was fast.  I'm a quarter done now.  The first quarter is said to be the longest, too.  I'll be home before I know it.  I guess you could say I celebrated my quarter mark yesterday with a Quarter Pounder with Cheese.  And a Big Mac, too.  Oh, baby, they were soooo good!  It was worth 100 pesos.  I heard from the APs that McDonalds is looking for land in Tacloban.  Awesome!  I just better not be assigned there ever, because I'd be out of money halfway through the month.  (Tacloban eventually got a McDonalds, but it was long after I was gone.)

22 April 1999

Well, I'm transferred.  I don't know where yet, but I know I'm leaving next week.  All of us in Albuera are.  They're probably putting sisters in here.  We find out everything tomorrow.  Well, Albuera's been nice.  I hate to leave, but I knew I'd have to eventually.  I just wish I could've been here longer.  I'll miss the members of the branch.  I'm really going to miss the Sanico family.  I hope they eventually get baptized.  I'm pretty nervous.  I'm afraid that my new area will be Waray-Waray speaking.  We'll see.

23 April 1999

It's official.  The four Albuera elders are being replaced by sisters.  Elder Kenney and Elder Anderson will still be companions, but they're going to Maasin.  Elder Jones is still the zone leader, but they're changing it to the Bay-Bay Zone, so he's going to to Bay-Bay.  His new companion will be Elder Palmer.  And I'm going to Isabel.  Cebuano-speaking!  My companion will be Elder Hughes.  I've met him a few times before, and he seems cool.  I'll be in the same zone as Elder Roberts.  In fact, he'll be my district leader.

I'm going to miss living with the elders here.  I hope Elder Anderson and I will be companions someday.  That'd be cool.

30 April 1999

I'm in Isabel now.  I got here yesterday morning.  Elder Hughes and I just met in Ormoc instead of going all the way to Tacloban.  My first day was promising.  Elder Hughes seems very cool.  This is his first area.  He's been here for almost six months.  He was in the batch right before mine.  I like the area, too.  It's quite different than Albuera.  There are 320 members here, but only about 60 are active.  There's a very nice church, but it's sinking slowly, so we don't use it.  Church is held in a meeting house instead.  I met a lot of members yesterday.  They're very nice.  I'm going to like it here.

Elder MacKenzie and Elder Hughes with the young men of Isabel Branch

3 May 1999

Well, that was a short companionship.  Elder Hughes is being transferred this Thursday.  He's going to Catarman, Northern Samar.  My new companion will be Elder Surowiec.  I don't know where he's coming from, or anything about him.  It's too bad Elder Hughes and I couldn't be companions longer, because I really liked him.

8 May 1999

I went up to Tacloban on Wednesday with Elder Hughes, Elder Hintze, and Elder Roberts (Elder Hintze was also transferred).  We did a lot of eating.  Elder Kopp was up there, too.  He wasn't transferred; he was there because of a bad rash all over his body, and his companion got sick while they were there.  Elder Pfister was also there, because he was transferred somewhere onto Biliran island.  I met Elder Surowiec that night at the Real Street apartment.  He's a cool guy.  And he's the first companion I've had who's older than I am.  He turns 23 in July.  He's in the same batch as Elder Jones.

Yeah, sorry about the photo quality

Elder Dubnyk (Polompon zone leader) was in Tacloban, too.  He informed us that Polompon zone, which Isabel is a part of, no longer exists.  Dubnyk's companion went to Manila because there's something wrong with his leg, so they transferred Elder Dubnyk and closed Polompon.  So now I'm back in Ormoc Zone.

I called home yesterday morning for Mother's Day.  Mary and Amy both have new boyfriends, Jenny and Anders are moving to Taber at the end of this month.  Sara is still working well (what an odd thing to say).  Amy graduated from university.  Mary started college.  Rob's in Vancouver for some engineering thing.  Emily's in junior high now.  Mum and Dad are doing good.  They're going to Nova Scotia today.  I talked to Jonah for a little bit.  He said, "I went swimming today."  I asked if it was fun, and he said yes, then handed the phone to Jenny and said, "It's for you."

After I was done talking with them, I saw my first monkey in real life ever.  It was cool.

15 May 1999

Wayne Gretzky, the greatest hockey player of all time, retired last month.  I found this out on Thursday when I got a letter from home with a bunch of newspaper articles about it.  Surprisingly, it was very emotional for me.  Wayne Gretzky has been a constant presence in hockey since I was a baby.  And he was on the Oilers back in their best days.

It was a very good zone conference yesterday.  I enjoyed it very much.  After it was done, Sister Dimaya operated on my toe again.  Stupid toe.  I had a big audience this time.

Before the operation.  It's blurry (I had a crappy camera), but you can tell something's wrong.

Elder Surowiec is just goofing off with a pair of pliers.  He isn't actually helping.

It's lunchtime now.  I'm on splits with Elder Roberts.  He's doing my certification pre-check.

Elder Surowiec and I ended up working until 10:30 last night, and we had to walk most of the way home.  I wasn't pleased about that.  When we got home, there was no electricity.  I almost swore.  We were the only house on the street without power, so it wasn't just an ordinary brown-out.  We went to the owner's house, and her son came here and somehow hooked the electricity up again.  As soon as the lights were on again, I found the problem: an unpaid electric bill.  We weren't happy missionaries.

20 May 1999

Well, I got certified two days ago by Elder Crabtree.  Who knows what they'll do with me now?  I think I'm ready to train, but I'd rather wait a few months just to make sure.  I can handle being a district leader or senior companion, but I'd like a little more experience before training.

Elder Surowiec just made me rub a mango peal all over my face.  It cleans it, kono (so they say).  If feels weird.  I haven't washed it off yet.

I had a dream last night about Wayne Gretzky being back on the Oilers.  I was at the hockey game.  It was the Oilers versus the Maple Leafs, but halfway through the game, the Red Wings replaced the Leafs while the referee wasn't looking.  We were all angry because no penalty was called.

29 May 1999

The last couple of days have been interesting.  We got punted (missionary slang for stood up) from everything on Thursday.  It was really frustrating.  We were about ready to give up and go in early, but decided to find a CSP (Community Service Project) for Friday instead.  We went to the basketball/volleyball court in Bilwang, found the people in charge (we had met them before), and asked if they needed us to referee.  They needed us right away, so we reffed girls volleyball for two and a half hours.  We went back last night and did it again.  It was pretty cool.  We hung out with everybody for a while after it was done having a huge BRT (build a relationship of trust) session.  I don't think many people in that area will call us "Joe" anymore.

We bought some cool cowboy hats made out of the thin wood from the top of coconut trees.

This picture, in which we're absolutely drenched in sweat, was taken after climbing the mountain I mention on 2 June 1999.

30 May 1999

I was angry today.  Church was nice.  We watched "Ang Kordero ng Diyos": The Lamb of God in Tagalog.  It was very spiritual.  Some of the young women were crying.  Sacrament meeting went overtime, and then there was a special meeting about the ground-breaking ceremony, so we didn't get out of there until 1:30.  We went straight to our appointment that was supposed to be after lunch.  We were very hungry, and it was just a follow-up visit, so we planned on staying for only 20 minutes.  We ended up being there for an hour.

We came home for a quick lunch.  I made spaghetti.  When I was straining it, the steam was burning me.  I put the pot down to grab it differently, but it tipped over.  All of it went right down the drain.  I was pissed.

After that, we went to the terminal to catch a ride out into the bukid (wilderness) to visit an awesome investigator family.  Nelson Pintoy and his family.  They were referred to us by the Ormoc zone leaders.  They were very promising.  The only way to get to their house is to ride a single motor (a taxi that's just a motorcycle with an extended seat).  The cost to ride is 15 pesos per person.  We get to this group of single motor drivers and ask one if he'll take us to Barangay (closest English word is subdivision) Cruz.  He said yes, but for 25 pesos each.  We said no, whenever we go to Cruz it's 15 pesos each.  "25 na lang," (25 now only) the driver said.  His friends were backing him up, and other drivers were gathering around.  One said, "30 pesos na lang."  Stupid Filipino can't negotiate very well.  We told them that we couldn't afford that, which is true, and then some prick came up to us and said, "You have much money."  Which we promptly denied, because we don't have much money.  Some other guy said, "Lisod dinhi so Pilipinas."  (Financially hard here in the Philippines)  "Fine, then, we'll walk."  We got to our appointment late, but we got there for 9 pesos each without walking.  (Another single motor driver picked us up along the road as we walked.)

When we got to the Pintoy's house, the barangay captain was there, because he was "concerned" about why the "Amerikanos" kept coming there.  They have been receiving a lot of persecution.  So much, in fact, that they aren't in our teaching pool anymore.  It really pisses me off.

2 June 1999

I just got back from the ground-breaking ceremony for the new chapel here in Isabel.  It was nice.  T.G. Jularbal and Sister Alcala were there.  It was cool seeing them again.  The mayor was there, too.  He talked about me and Elder Surowiec doing community service.  It was neat.

Yes, we were breaking ground for the new church before the old church had even been demolished.

We climbed a mountain on Monday.  It was called Mount Sanga (The mountain in the background of the photo in the header of this blog).  It was cool.

Sister Alcala told me that  Brother Sanico, Kathy Sanico, and Jun-Jun Sanico got baptized last Saturday!  That's awesome!  Now if only Sister Sanico would get baptized.

6 June 1999

I arrived in Tacloban exactly five months ago from today.

Last week was really good.  We achieved all of our goals.

We had some interesting tracting experiences this afternoon.  We had Sheryl Pacres (young women's president), her brother Richy, and Bobong Dosdos with us.  We were tracting in a nice part of town.  The second guy we visited was an idiot.  The next house, Elder Surowiec used an interesting approach.  A husband and wife in their 40s were sitting in front of their house reading a newspaper.  Elder Surowiec went to their gate and said, "Hey, what're you reading?"

"Newspaper," they answered.

"Does that have sports?"

"Yeah."

"Can I see the sports page?"

"Sure, come on in."

We all went in, and Elder Surowiec got the sports page.  He started to BRT (build a relationship of trust) with him while looking at it.  I glimpsed the words "Stanley Cup," so I snatched the paper out of Surowiec's hands.  It was a tiny article about Dallas beating Colorado and moving on to the Stanley Cup Finals.  I was amazed.  I have seen many sports pages in this country, and this is the first time I've ever seen hockey mentioned.  Anyway, we taught the husband the first discussion.  He seemed pretty cool.

10 June 1999

We went to Basey Falls on Monday with Sheryl, Lovely, and Melona (Lovely's investigator sister).  It was cool.  The falls were beautiful, and we had good company.  This was the first waterfall I've seen on my mission.  We're going back on the next P-Day with the elders from Ormoc.  Unfortunately, Sheryl and Lovely won't be able to go.  Lovely's going to Cebu for college, and Sheryl's going to Ormoc for college.  I'll miss them.  The youth here are awesome.  Sheryl and Lovely help us a lot, acting as fellowshippers.

Lovely Sarmiento, Elder MacKenzie, Melona Sarmiento

18 June 1999

Well, the drought is over.  I cried today for the first time since I was 13 years old.  The trouble was, it wasn't a good "I'm so happy" or "the Spirit is so strong" cry.  It was bitter weeping.

Okay, let me back up a bit and set up the situation.  It was zone conference earlier.  We went to Ormoc yesterday for interviews.  I was visiting with a lot of cool missionaries, one of them another Canadian: Elder Wynder, the guy who trained Elder Swingler.  To my knowledge, we're the only two Canadians in the mission.

Today was the actual zone conference.  It was pretty good.  It was President and Sister Dimaya's last one in Ormoc.  They go home at the end of this month.  After conference was over, I wanted to talk to President Dimaya about getting a loan, because I only had 18 pesos left, and support doesn't come until July 1.  However, Sister Dimaya got to me first.  I was wearing sandals, so she knew what that meant: my toenail was ingrown again.  She took a look at it and decided to operate right there in the chapel, just like last zone conference.  A crowd gathered around, this one bigger than the last time, all of them amazed at my ugly swollen toe.  The surgery started.  It hurt, but no worse than the last time.  The other missionaries and I were even cracking jokes while it was going on.  Once Sister even had to stop, because I was laughing too hard.  After five minutes, she stopped and went over to her little medical kit.  I thought I was done, so I sat up.  She came back and said, "That's just one side."  So I laid back down as she went back to work.  This side of the toe had been giving me the most trouble, so it hurt more to operate on it.  I was in a lot of pain, so I stopped joking back at the other elders.  The nail was very deep, so Sister Dimaya had to dig in pretty far to get at it.  Elder Kopp was sitting right by my head so he could tell how much pain I was in.  He told me to remember what the Lord said to Joseph Smith while he was in Liberty Jail about how He gave trials to the prophet in order to give him experience and to strengthen him.  That just got me thinking about how maybe I wasn't worthy to be here, and that maybe God is punishing me.  Add this to my worries about home and the frustration of having to put up with so much pain on a regular basis, and tears came to my eyes.  I wasn't crying hard yet.  I closed my eyes and kept them closed just so I didn't have to look at anyone.  After another five minutes of Sister trying to dig the remaining piece out, she stopped, and Elder Surowiec leaned towards me and said, "We're going to Tacloban."  I covered my eyes and started shaking my head in frustration.  I started crying harder, but silently.  I couldn't talk, or else I'd cry harder, so I just laid there, hands over my eyes, shaking my head because I didn't (and still don't) want to go to the quacks in Tacloban.  Elder Surowiec dispersed the crowd in order to give me a little bit of privacy.  He sat next to me with Elder Kopp and Elder Pfister, and the three of them tried to make me feel better.  I didn't say much, because my voice was too shaky, but I managed to get across my appreciation.  I still didn't uncover my eyes, though.  I kept a handkerchief over my eyes.  After 15 minutes of laying there, I got some control and stopped crying.  Sister Dimaya instructed us to watch my toe, and if it starts to get bad again that I should go to Tacloban and have the whole nail removed.  She knows about the last encounter my toe had with a doctor in Tacloban, so she said that I could have them give me a general anaesthetic.  Then she went about other business she needed to do.  Elders Pfister and Kopp went back to their areas, and Elder Surowiec went to talk to the zone leaders, so I sat up and put my sock and shoe back on.  As I did, Elder Wynder sat next to me to see how I was doing.  I shook my head and started crying again.  My handkerchief covered my face again, and as Elder Wynder put his arm around my shoulders, I said, "It's just so damn frustrating!" and started crying even harder than before.  I cried like that for a minute or two while he comforted me.  I don't know him very well, but after that, I really like him.  Then I went to the washroom and washed up a bit.  I was fine for the rest of the day.

Elder Surowiec had to hold me down.  It looks like Elder Sutton is assisting Sister Dimaya, but he's just marveling at my toe hair.  I'm pretty sure that's Elder McIver in the top right corner.

It was a very strange experience for me.  I had forgotten what it was like to cry.  Sure, I was a little humiliated for breaking down like that in public, but everyone was nice--even loving--about it.  On the other hand, I'm glad to know that I'm still capable of shedding tears.  A lot of crap has happened in my life these past couple of years, and I didn't cry at all because of them.

24 June 1999

Today was interesting.  It's John the Baptist Day, some stupid Catholic holiday.  Everyone went to the beach this morning to swim.  I didn't think much of it.  This afternoon, Elder Surowiec and I were working with Bobong Dosdos and Sheryl Pacres.  We were riding in a bus towards Tolingon to hopefully teach a second discussion.  I was sitting by the window watching everything go by as I usually do.  Suddenly, a bunch of kids started screaming outside as we started to pass.  I looked at them just in time to see a bucketful of water thrown right in my face.  I got drenched.  I just sat there not believing what had just happened.  Elder Surowiec looked at me and started to laugh uncontrollably.  I was angry at first, but then I started to laugh at myself.  The bus got hit two more times, but my window was closed.  The people in the back got drenched.  They really seemed to enjoy it.

27 June 1999

This was a great day for the Philippines Tacloban Mission.  The first stake ever in Region VIII was formed.  Ormoc District is now Ormoc Stake!  That means Isabel Branch is now Isabel Ward!!  Albuera is a ward, too.  Awesome.  District Conference was this morning.  Elder Sheldon F. Child, Philippines Area President, presided.  President Reynaldo Delante conducted.  He's the stake president now.  I sang in the choir.  President and Sister Dimaya were there.  They gave talks.  They go home in three days.  I'm gonna miss them.  The Albuera Branch members were there.  It was great seeing them all again.  Especially the Sanicos.  I love them so much.  Brother Sanico received the Melchezidek Priesthood today.  Sister isn't baptized yet, but she goes to church every week and attends all the activities.  Kathy told me that she (her mother) is pregnant.  Cool.  The entire morning was a great experience (except for the weird "choir" number by the Ormoc Branch) and I'm glad I could be there.  (I wish I could remember what the weird choir number was.)

4 July 1999

I had a dream about Jake last night.  I dreamt that he was off his mission.  In real life, if he isn't home already, he'll be home this week.  So, in my dream, Jake was no longer a missionary.  He had served in the Cebu Mission (Santa Rosa, California in real life), and he came to visit me in this mission.  We spoke Cebuano to each other.  It was cool.

Today is American Independence Day, and I couldn't care less.  I am so sick and tired of the USA.  They are so arrogant and ignorant to the rest of the world.  I'm especially tired of their attitude towards Canada.  Ever since my first day at the MTC, I've been dealing with Canada jokes and being made fun of because I'm Canadian, and people putting down and laughing at things that I enjoy and am proud of in my country.  I've always been good about it and just laughed it off, but lately it's really been bothering me.  I want to go the rest of my mission without another American companion.  Filipinos, Samoans, and Canadians na lang (now only).

6 July 1999

It's been exactly six months since I've been in this mission.

We went to Ormoc for P-Day yesterday.  After shopping and eating and all that, we went to a bakery with the Merida elders.  While Elder Roberts bought some bread, Elder Surowiec and I admired a cake in the display cooler.  As Elder Roberts left the counter, Elder Surowiec asked the lady who worked there, "How much does that cake cost?"  She said 390 pesos.  "If I buy it for my birthday, can I have a discount?" Surowiec asked, just kidding around.  The lady laughed and said no.

"Is it your birthday today?" another customer asked.  It was a 28-year-old woman that we had never met before.

"No, not until July 18," Elder Surowiec said.

"Okay," the woman said.  "I'll buy it for you."

We were stunned, because she was serious.  We tried to talk her out of it.  Elder Surowiec kept saying he was maolaw (shy) to take it.  She bought it for us anyway.  We thanked her profusely and gave her a Book of Mormon.  We shared the cake last night with the Pacres and Sarmiento families.

10 July 1999

We worked on Thursday (8 July), but I was sick again on Friday, and I'm even worse today.  Elder Surowiec figured that, since we're missing proselyting hours anyway, we might as well go to Tacloban today and get my toe operated on.  In addition to that, he thinks he has chicken pox.  So we called the office this morning and told them what's up.  They said that nothing could be done before Monday, so we have to wait until then.  In the meantime, we've been ordered not to leave the house.  We're a little upset about it, but there's nothing we can do.

13 July 1999

Elder Surowiec doesn't have chicken pox.  It was just a rash.  We went to Tacloban Monday morning for my toe surgery.  I was really nervous, but they drugged me up some good.  I was conscious and completely aware, but they used a powerful painkiller plus a local anesthetic, so I didn't feel a thing.  Elder Surowiec watched, and he said that the doctor went really deep, and there was a lot of twisting.  The worst part of the experience came after the operation, and it wasn't really that bad.  I was standing up while the doctor was instructing me on my medication.  All of a sudden, I felt nauseous, and my face went completely white.  I sat down trying my hardest not to vomit.  I laid back down on the operating table and stayed there until I could walk without blowing chunks.  I'm fine now.  Check these babies out:

Portions of the removed nail.  Yes, I still have them taped in my journal.

15 July 1999

My toe is looking better than it has since the first week of January.  I'm very happy.  I think I'm on my way back to having ten normal toes (lol nope!).  The swelling has gone down a lot.

Today was our first full day of work since last Thursday (July 8).  We had district meeting in the morning, and then we had to go to Ormoc where my toe was cleaned and re-dressed by a beautiful nurse with a cool personality who thought we were guwapo (handsome).  (It sucked being a missionary sometimes.)

16 July 1999

We had CSP (community service project) for most of the day.  We went to Isabel National High School.  One of the teachers (Melanie Vellanzuela) invited us into her class of third year high school students.  We spent the whole morning talking and having fun with them.  They are really cool.  The teacher was, too.  She told us about a project the school had in the afternoon and asked if we wanted to help.  Since we haven't had CSP in a while, we said yes.  So we went back after lunch and helped all of the students dig a little drainage ditch.  It was tedious work, but well worth it.  The students know us and like us now.  Most of them call us Elder now instead of Joe.  And the teachers like us a lot now, too.  We lined up a bunch of CSPs with them.  Good ones, too, not just labour.  And they invited us to a little "acquaintance" at the school next Friday evening.  I sure hope I'm not transferred on Wednesday.

Elder Surowiec just walked up to me while I was lying here writing, and he stuck an ice cube down the back of my shorts.

17 July 1999

Elder Roberts came to our apartment this morning.  I knew why before he even said anything.  I'm transferred. Suck!  I wanted at least for them to wait until July 29.  But no, I'm leaving Tuesday afternoon.  At least they're sending me to a cool place: Almeria.  It's on the Biliran island, which is supposed to be really beautiful.  And I get to ride boats!  (Yeah, that never happened.)  My companion will be Elder Pfister.  That ought to be cool. He's still not certified, so I'll be a follow-up trainer to him.  I'll be district leader, too.  That should be cool.  I'm finally doing something besides junior companion.

I'm really going to miss Isabel.  I love the members here, especially the youth.  I'll miss the Sarmiento family a lot.  I wish I could've done more with the school.

18 July 1999

Today was my last Sunday in Isabel.  It is also Elder Surowiec's birthday.  It was pretty tough to me.  Not only because I'll never see these people again, but because I didn't want to take the focus off of Surowiec.  He had Elder McIver's video camera and was recording everybody.  We went to the Sarmiento house.  They were all there, even Lovely and Melona.  We were there for a long time.  I was pretty depressed and quiet at first.  After a while, though, I started playing with Diaza, Girlie, Gretchyn, and Mae-Mae.  We had a blast.  I love them so much.  I almost cried when we left.  I'm going to miss Isabel.

22 July 1999

Well, I'm in my third area now.  I showed up at the office on Tuesday with Elder Roberts (Elder Surowiec was on splits with Elder Salea doing that awesome CSP).  Elder Pfister was already there.  I found out that he had very recently been certified.  Since he's been around quite a bit longer than I have, they made him district leader instead.  Part of me is really happy that I don't have to deal with that responsibility yet, but another part of me is disappointed that I don't have to deal with that responsibility yet.  Oh well.

Elder Pfister and Elder MacKenzie

A group of us (me, Elders Roberts, Pfister, Richardson, Hale, and Andersen (not to be confused with Anderson)) went to Shakey's Pizza for dinner.  Elder Hughes was just leaving.  He was being transferred from Catarman to San Isidro.  I ate a regular-sized pizza, mojos (fried potatoes), and a bottomless root beer.  I chugged my first two mugs.  Elder Richardson was so impressed that he kept making me do it again.  After the sixth mug, I ran to the restroom and vomited up a bunch of foam with little chunks of cheese in it.  I thought I was dying, but I felt great after I was finished.

Today was my first full day of work in Almeria.  After lunch, we had to go on splits for baptismal interviews.  I stayed with Elder Knighton, one of the zone leaders, and Elder Kopp's trainer.  By the way, Elder Wynder is my other zone leader.  Canada power!  Anyway, Elder Knighton interviewed two of our investigators who are getting baptized this Saturday.  They're cool.  I love this area so far.  It's beautiful.  I've met quite a few of the members, and I love them already.  We do a lot of walking here, because it's pretty bukid (rustic), but that's okay.

24 July 1999

Today was pretty cool.  We went to Agta Beach with Almeria and Kawayan groups.  The Kawayan elders (Crapo and Martinez) were there, too.  First, we had five baptisms.  Two were ours (Jeralyn Macabenta and Celso Sedaya), and the other three were from Kawayan.  It was cool.  I had never witnessed a baptism in the sea before.  After the baptisms, we had a bi-group activity.  We ate and played a few games.  Some of the children went swimming.  It was very nice.  I got to know the members a little better.  I really seem to be hitting it off with the youth and primary.  The primary girls were hanging all over me.  I love children.  I can't wait until I have a family of my own.

At 4:00 this afternoon, we taught a second discussion to a guy named Pascual, his pregnant wife Suzanna, and their neighbour Josephine.  They're all now committed to baptism on August 7.

I love my mission.

31 July 1999

This morning, we were sitting on bags of gravel on the side of the road in the shade waiting for a ride.  A middle-aged guy came around the corner on a bike going pretty fast downhill.  His hand was squeezing the brake a little bit.  Then his hat almost blew off, so he reached up and grabbed it.  Trouble was, he grabbed it with the hand that had been holding the brake.  As the bike suddenly started going faster, and because of his momentary distraction, he lost control.  He swerved to his left, almost knocked over an old man, went off the road, and hit the bags of gravel behind us.  The bike stopped, and he flipped neatly over the handlebars, landed on his back, then sat up and said in a normal, undisturbed voice, "Wa'y problema," (No problem) as if nothing interesting had happened.  We made sure he was okay, and then he left.  As soon as he was gone, Elder Pfister and I laughed our butts off.

1 August 1999

Elder Pfister and I were walking down the Daro Highway this afternoon.  It was hot.  I said, "No shade, no breeze, no clouds.  This sucks."  We laughed.  You had to be there.

Later this evening, we were teaching a new member discussion to Brother Sedaya.  He has no electricity (quite common), so we had little fuel lamps.  I was holding one while teaching my part.  The NMDs are only printed in English, so we had to translate.  I read this one part under my breath in English.  It was really hard to translate, so I sighed.  It blew the light out.  Everyone found it very funny.

2 August 1999

I drew this flag originally on the chalk board for Elder Pfister.  I called it a compromise.  I like it so much, I made a colour copy.  (It's an amalgamation of the Canadian, US, and Filipino flags)

3 August 1999

Elder Pfister and I were walking to an appointment last night.  We saw two dogs who had just barely finished having sex.  The thing is, when dogs have sex, the male's organ swells up, and they can't pull apart for a minute or two.  Elder Pfister scared them.  The female ran while the male was still trapped.  She dragged him by the dick.  That was some high yelping and squealing.  We laughed our butts off.  Poor dog.

4 & 5 August 1999

I'm in Ormoc again.  It's zone conference.  My entire batch is here.  It was my first time seeing Elder Swingler in seven months.  Upon seeing him, I realized that I've forgiven him (I needed forgiveness myself, and Swingler was gracious enough to grant it).  I even hugged the little bugger.  It was cool getting caught up with him.

Elder Kopp, Elder MacKenzie, and Elder Swingler.  That's Elder Hale on the right posing for someone else's camera.

A bunch of us went over to the sisters' apartment last night searching for mattresses.  It was 9:30, so we figured that they'd be there.  The lights were off, and nobody was answering the door, so we concluded that they weren't home yet.  We really wanted mattresses, and we were tired of waiting for the sisters to come home, so we got Elder Kopp (he's Ormoc district leader now) to climb onto their balcony and see if the door up there was locked.  As he was just getting to the top, Elder Sutton said, "It would be funny if the sister were asleep up there."  Right after he said that, Elder Kopp turned around with a horrified look on his face and said, "The sisters are sleeping in there!"  We thought he was joking at first, but he wasn't.  Elder Pfister handed him a long stick which he used to knock on the window without looking in.  We waited a little while, laughing at Elder Kopp, and then we hear Sister Kagahastian say, "Oh, dili maayo, Elder."  (Oh, not good, Elder.)  Kopp was so embarrassed and flustered.  He told them all to get dressed, because he was coming through.  He waited a few minutes while the rest of us laughed.  Then the door on the balcony opened, and he said, "Okay, I'm coming!" and ran for the door.  We heard the sisters scream, and the door slammed shut.  "Okay, I'm not coming," he said.  They opened the door again and let him make a run for it.  We heard his feet stomping down the stairs.  Elder Sutton held the front door shut so he couldn't get out.  "The door's locked!  I can't get out!  For the love of all that's holy, I can't get out!" Elder Kopp was yelling.  He finally got out, apologizing to the sisters while the rest of us died laughing.

Zone Conference was excellent.  I'm really excited about President Dela Vega.  He's a great guy.  Very spiritual.  He'll do a lot of good for this mission.

I'm starting to get famous in the mission for my toe, and then the root beer incident.

6 August 1999

Exactly seven months in the mission.

Today kind of sucked.  We went out searching for a CSP (Community Service Project), but couldn't find one.  Just as we were getting home, Sister Lopez walked up and told us that Pascual and Suzanna Honillas (two of the people who were supposed to get baptized tomorrow) were in the hospital in Naval.  Suzanna is nine months pregnant, and I guess she started having problems yesterday.  We went to the hospital and talked to them.  Apparently, the doctor says she needs a C-section.  And there's a chance that the baby is already dead.  I hope not.  That would be 0 out of 3 for them.  Anyway, this will all be very costly, and these are poor people.  We went to the president of Naval Branch (Almeria Group is part of that branch) and asked if the Church could help them in any way.  President Napoco said he would talk to them this evening.  I hope and pray that everything turns out.

We just got punted (missionary slang for stood up) and did a whole lot of nothing for the rest of the day.

Someone got a free ride on a jeepney today.  Elder Pfister said, "Free ride.  No fair!"  Then we laughed.  Get it?  (It was only funny because it was an unintentional pun.)

11 August 1999

I had a new experience in Filipino public transportation yesterday.  We were in the Lungsod (centre of town) just coming from Basud on foot, and we needed to go all the way out to Jamorawan.  A jeepney came along, so we decided to ride.  The inside was full, the racks on the back were crowded, and there was no more room to top-load (ride on the roof rack).  There was, however, a little ledge running along the side of the jeep.  It was one inch wide.  So I grabbed hold of the roof rack and stepped on the little ledge.  I rode all the way to Jamorawan like that.  It was kind of fun.  I felt like Indiana Jones.

There's a jeepney under that mass of people.  This is right after we got off in Jamorawan

14 August 1999

Well, we started our day out by leaving our house at 6:30 and taking a motorcycle (a common form of public transportation is motorcycles with extended seats) to Biliran, Biliran (the town of Biliran in the the province of Biliran) for a priesthood activity.  We went to a little island between Biliran and Leyte to a little private beach resort.  President Napoco (Naval branch president) presided over a fireside where three branch presidents from the Tacloban area spoke.  It was in four languages: English, Cebuano, Tagalog, and Waray-Waray.  After that, everyone hung out, then we ate lechon baboy (spit-roasted pig) and some fish.

Josephine's baptism was this afternoon at 4:00.  It went smoothly.  We held it at Bagongbong River.  It was a very peaceful spot, and very beautiful.  I performed the actual baptism.  it was the first time I have ever done that.  It was cool, and very spiritual.  The whole service was spiritual, and I'm not the only one who felt it.  We taught the third discussion to her sister right after, and when I asked her if she believed that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was the only true church, she said, "Oo, dako akong pagtuo" (Yes, large is my belief) with a big smile on her face.

15 August 1999

Church just got over.  I taught the lesson in priesthood (duties of Teachers), taught the primary how to sing "Love One Another" and gave a little lesson about it, and in sacrament meeting, I confirmed Josephine a member of the Church and gave her the Gift of the Holy Ghost.

Five of the six people who are getting baptized on August 28 were at church today.  The only one missing was Lolito.  His wife just gave birth, so he didn't want to leave her.

There are three people named Josephine in Almeria Group now: Josephine Sabornado, the one who was just baptized yesterday; Josephine Berdida, a 19-year-old new member; and Josephine, a 13-year-old girl, otherwise known as Ephine.

I forgot to mention earlier that there was an earthquake today while I was teaching priesthood.  It was just strong enough to give the house a good shake.  It was cool.  I had never experienced an earthquake before.

16 August 1999

Today's P-Day.  We went to Naval this morning for a zone training.  After that, Calubian Zone and (get this) Merida District (Elder Surowiec and the gang) showed up to play football.  I was planning on playing with them, but I'm sick, so I didn't.  I went to lunch, got some pictures copied, did some grocery shopping, and came back here.  I wrote a letter to my family, washed my garments, and now I'm being very lazy.  I love it!

Well, I guess I have nothing else interesting to say.  Who am I kidding?  I didn't write one interesting thing today.

17 August 1999

Pascual and Suzanna are back from Naval.  She's still pregnant.  We scheduled them to be baptized on August 28.  That's eight now.  We started teaching one of Arlene's daughters and two of her nieces.  They'll probably be baptized with her.  That's 11 baptisms in one day.  Wow.  We're teaching Arlene's father, too.  If he wants to be baptized, it'll probably happen in September.  Holy cow, it's almost September.  My hump day is in two months.

We taught four discussions today: three fourths and a first.  I love Almeria!

This was included on this page of the journal.  It's a sample of Filipino advertising.  They're only chips, for crying out loud.

20 August 1999

We taught Nolasco and Lilia the fifth discussion after lunch.  It went very well.  I'm excited for them.  We're going to try to teach it to Lolito tomorrow.  He was working today.

After that, we took a little break at a tindahan (store) and drank Sprites.  A bunch of little kids that we made friends with yesterday gathered around and started talking to us.  They were really cute.  One of the kids bought something called "Superfun."  It was really crappy cheesies.  But then the kid reached in and pulled out a little plastic toy.  We bought about seven each.  We gave most of the food to the kids, but we kept the cool toys for ourselves.

We committed four children to baptism.  Arlene's children and nieces.  September 4.  We moved Arlene's baptism to the same date so that they could all be baptized at the same time.